Saturday, 26 May 2012

The point & counter-point

We were having a conversation the other night with a local Mumbai-ite or Mumbian...not really sure what the proper term is.  He was unsure of surrogacy and brought up the adoption point.  There are SO many children in orphanages here in India...why bring another baby into the world when you could give something back to someone in need?  This is a valid point.  We agree and would love to take in an orphaned child from an impoverished nation.  We considered it seriously and opted for surrogacy because we aren't sure our family is ready to take on a child who has spent time in an orphanage.  These kids need lots of love, attention and time.  While there are no guarantees with children, biological or adopted, the likelihood of there being issues is almost certain with an adopted kid.  We both work full-time.  We already have a child.  We aren't sure we have the resources or the family situation in place to take on a kid who has spent his or her first year in an orphanage.  The systems put in place to protect children do sometimes cause harm.  This is the tragedy.  

This gentleman also made the point that if he was an intended parent, he wouldn't necessarily want his child in the womb of these surrogates.  Much better if it was his happy, balanced, healthy wife.  Again, agreed.  I would have loved to have been pregnant, unfortunately, that was not an option.   Matteo made the counter-point that Indian's of his class are raised very much by household help.  Everyone has nannies.  Why is it that the womb is so precious, but the minute the child is born, the nanny is an adequate substitution for the mother?   

The conversations continue.  

1 comment:

  1. Jennifer and Matteo, there are two or more faces for every decision. It's very hard to choose what is right or wrong. Before you sharing your experience, my thoughts about surrogacy were different. Now through you I see a side I wasn't considering. Thanks for opening my mind in this so very special moment for your family. <3